The Sports Will Rock You
RGIII: First Among Thirds

RGIII Richard

“The Hogs, The Hogs, my kingdom for The Hogs”

RGIII Davis

“I would Davis Love to win just one major championship with this crappy franchise”

RGHankIII

RG Hank III wishes he could have played for Assjack Kent Cooke

RGThurstonIII

“I’m Thurston for a tropical drink. Mmm, delicious. Now what’s this poppycock about a rookie wage scale?”

RGHedonismIII

This is what it feels like to not start Rex Grossman

Louden Griffin III

Loudon Griffin III concerts: considerably loudoner than Redskins crowds since 1992

RGDubus

Screw you, weaver of totally avoidable tragedies Andre Dubus III — all dreams can be shared as long as you don’t give all the dream money to Bruce Smith and Deion Sanders. That crap won’t happen in RGIII’s house.

RGBakerIII

You know who else hates to lose? Refuse to Lose author John-Calipari-with-Dick-Weiss. But also, RGIII hates to lose, and is a gentleman.

Amenhotep III was the ninth pharaoh of the Eighteenth dynasty. Since their last Super Bowl, the Redskins have had 21 starting quarterbacks, and zero dynasties. Add that up, and one thing becomes clear: RGIII looks sweet with an R-Goatee.